Archives for category: The Not So Fun Stuff

Edie thinks everything is hers and she makes sure that we know it. It used to be cute when she would grab something, hug it to her chest, and yell “mine!” as loud as she could, but this got old real quick. Sometimes I think she doesn’t understand me when I tell her “no, those keys are mommy’s” but then she glares at me with defiance in her eyes and I know she just wants to have it.
It’s amazing to me how quickly we learn selfishness. Edie will ask for more food or juice before she is even done with what she has and when I tell her to finish first she starts screaming. I want to teach her to share, to know that there are some things she can’t have, but this feels impossible when my well reasoned arguments are returned with spitting and flailing on the ground. How do you reason with a two year old? Spanking just makes the crying last longer and, with Edie, I’m sure it just strengthens her rebellion. Time outs work a little better but she still comes out a wreck.
The worst part of all is there are times when I’m tired and just want to relax and I realize that I selfishly want everything for myself too. I realize that, if given my own way, I would snatch the cookie from Edie, the remote from Natalie, and want everything for me. I want to throw a tantrum. It’s no fun to share or give up stuff sometimes and yet I have to show Edie how important it is. Being an example sucks. But then there are times where Edie shares her food or toys, gives me a kiss, and then I remember how cool it is that I taught her that. It makes it all better for a while. Thankfully, though, she is only two once.

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As you can probably tell by the fact that I went almost two months without a post, time is something that I don’t have a lot of. I used to take time for granted. Before Edie, when I wasn’t working or studying then my time was my own. I could do with it as I pleased. Now the only time I have is when she is asleep, which lately has not been nearly enough.

When I’m left with just the margins of my day to myself, I tend to fall into the trap of putting off what I need/want to do until the next day. I tell myself that I can get that done tomorrow, I’ll do double the work to make up for it, or that I just need some time to relax. Obviously these tactics only end up with me doing nothing for weeks on end.

So, where this is all going is that this year I am not going to let myself fall into the all too tempting procrastination routine that I am used to. Sticking with my Edie blog, looking for a better job, and keeping up with the stack of writing projects that I have lined up are things that I am going to stick with all year long. So if I start to slack on this blog, start leaving me some nasty comments and I will kick it into gear. And here are some more amazing pics of Edie being cute.

When I had to take Edie to the doctor’s last Thursday because her fever was refusing to go down below 102, I was in full on crisis mode. I handle stressful situations by turning into a sort of optimistic robot. Only positive and logical thoughts are filtered in my brain and I find ways to make sure that the best thing is also the most logical. It may not be the best way to deal with things but I figure that balanced with Natalie’s emotional pessimism, we cover all the bases.

While I was sitting in the doctor’s office, holding a sniffling, feverish two year old like a newborn baby, the pessimistic thoughts started sneaking into my head. What if she has the flu? Or pneumonia? Don’t kids die from these things all the time? A flu is a nuisance when your my age, but for a baby it can be serious, right? I started to get more and more afraid about my little girl and it didn’t help that it took over an hour to even see the doctor.

So after two hours in that office being deprived any stimuli to distract myself from Edie’s sickness, I left knowing only that she had some infection and it could be pneumonia. The next day she would have to go in for x-rays to make sure. So that night Nat and I slept terribly, jumping at any noise she made, checking her temperature every few hours, and keeping her filled with acetaminophen. When my alarm went off to get up for work, I was already awake.

While I was working, Natalie took Edie to get the x-rays and it was confirmed that she had an upper respiratory infection and early pneumonia. The only good news was that we caught it early. All that day her fever bounced between 99 and 103 and she was completely lethargic. She slept a lot, watched a lot of movies, and ate almost nothing. It was so hard to sit there and know that there was nothing else you could do to help.

After a rough Friday and Saturday morning, Edie started to turn around. Her fever went down and she ate a good lunch. Then she slept for almost five hours, woke up for an hour, then slept all through the night. This morning she was back to her usual self. She smiled, laughed, and ran around the house. It felt like I had forgotten what a healthy Edie looked like and was shocked at how much energy she had. With Edie back to her usual self, I could see more clearly how much stress and fear was weighing on me during her sickness. There really is nothing worse than a sick baby.